[Pirate!EnglandxReader] - Stupidest Pirate in the Seven Seas.
You sat in the cell with Captain Arthur Kirkland. The most notorious Pirate in all the Seven Seas.
...When he's not Drunk as hell that is.
You watched as he picked up the bone and tried to lure the guard dog closer, so he could take the key.
"Come on, Doggy." He said, whistling. "It's just you, (name) and me. Just you, (name) and Ol' Arthur."
The dog came a little closer much to Arthur's delight. "Come on, Come on, Good boy. That's a good boy!" He grinned.
You rolled your eyes and sighed. Arthur shot you a glare before turning back to the dog.
"That's a good boy! Come on! Bit Closer, just a bit closer!" He waved the bone around. "That's it, That's it Doggy! Come on you...filthy, slimy, mangy cur."
Before Arthur could grab the keys, the dog ran away. "No! No, no, no, no, no, I didn't mean it!" He whined.
"...Anymore Bright Ideas, Captain?" You asked, sarcastically. Arthur turned to you. "He ran away." He said.
"I can see that." You deadpanned. He crawled over to you, falling headfirst onto your lap.
"Why does nobody love mee?!" He sobbed. You patted his head and sighed. "You really need to stop drinking."
He looked up at you with teary eyes. "You need to strip more." He replied.
'I am going to hit this guy.' you thought, trying smiling grimly. But you just couldn't. After all, he DID save you from being hanged.
Footsteps were heard as an Albino approached the cell.
"You! Kirkland!" He shouted. Arthur waved them off. "'Aye.'" you spoke for him.
"Are you familiar with that ship? The Bloody Emerald?" He asked.
Arthur yawned and buried his face in the crook of your neck. "Mm~ You smell nice~" He mumbled. "Because you kept feeding me lemon candy, Yes. I do smell nice." You replied, patting his head.
"'I've heard of it.'" You said, turning to him.
"Vhere does it give berth?" He asked.
Arthur looked up from your neck. "Where does it make Berth? Have you not heard the stories? Captain Carriedo and his crew of miscreants sail from the dreaded Isle de Muerta. It's an Island that cannot be found except for those who already know where it is." He huffed, kissing your neck.
You pushed his head. "Down Boy." You commanded. He whined.
"The ship’s real enough. Therefore it’s anchorage must be a real place.” The man with red eyes replied.
“Vhere is it?” He asked. Arthur studies his own nails, earning a groan from you. “‘Why ask me?’” You asked.
“Because you’re a pirate.” He replied.
“‘And you want to turn pirate yourself, Is that it?” You asked, chuckling.
“Never! They took mein liebe, Elizabeta!” He retorted. Arthur looked up at you. “ What’s a ‘mein liebe’?” He asked.
“That’s german for ‘my love’.” You replied. “‘Oh, So it is that you’ve found a girl. I see. Well if you’re intending to brave all, hasten to her rescue and so win fair lady’s heart you’ll have to do it alone mate. I see no profit in it for m- us.’” You said, pointing to the Albino.
“I can get you out of there.” He offered.
Arthur grunted. “How’s that? Bloody Key’s run off.”
“I helped build these cells. The are half pin-barrel hinges.” The albino picked up the bench near the wall and placed it at the bottom of the cell door.
“Vith the right leverage and the proper application of strength, the door vill lift free.”
You made a whistling sound in amazement and Arthur grabbed the cell door. “What’s your name?” He asked.
“Gilbert Beilschmidt.” Gilbert replied.
“Fancy name. Got a brother?”
“Ja. Ludwig Beilschmidt.”
“I see. Well, Mr. Beilschmidt, I’ve changed me mind. If ye free me-”
You gave Arthur a hard glare, making him chuckle. “If ye free us, I swear on pain of death I shall take you to the Bloody Emerald and your bonny lass. Do we have an Agreement?” He asked.
Gilbert nodded and the two men shook hands. “Ja.” He replied.
“Good. Get us out.” Arthur smiled.
Gilbert pressed down on the bench, causing the cell door to come off the hinges.
“Someone could’ve heard that.” Gilbert said, helping you up. “Not without my effects!” Arthur exclaimed.
“Great. ANOTHER daft Idea.”
. . .
“Ve’re going to steal the ship. That ship?” Gilbert asked, pointing to the Blue Diamond. “Commandeer. We’re going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term. One questions about your business though. This girl, how far are you willing to go to save her?” You asked.
“I’d die for her.” Gilbert replied.
“Oh, good. No worries then~!” You giggled, running up to Arthur who was trying to lift a boat.
Gilbert was dumbstruck. “Verdammit frau...” He mumbled.
. . .
The three of you were under a boat underwater. “This is madness. And Brilliant.” Gilbert chuckled. “Funny how those two traits coincide.” You mumbled, trying to keep your head above water, due to your height.
“(name), Love. You might want to just hold on to me.” Arthur said, offering his hand.
The three of you boarded the Blue Diamond after walking underwater, talking and you repeatedly cussing at Arthur.
“Everybody stay calm! We’re taking over the ship!” Arthur announced.
“Aye! Avast!” Gilbert growled.
The men there laughed. “This ship cannot be crewed by two men and a little lassie. You’ll never make it out of the bay.”
You blew away the smoke coming from the gun’s mouth. “Little...Lassie...? My dear monsieur, I am (name)(last name). The most dangerous ‘Little Lassie’ in all of France. And you tell me that I can’t commandeer a ship with only a Captain and a Blacksmith?” You asked, grinning darkly.
Arthur pointed to you.
“She’s got a point.”
You pointed to the life boat with the gun. “Get off.” You growled.
. . .
From afar, Alfred F. Jones and his little Brother, Matthew Williams were enjoying their daily snacks when they noticed their men on a small boat.
“Sir! They took the Ship!!!” They shouted.
Matthew snatched up his spyglass and looked into it, finding two men and a little girl on board.
“...Isn’t that Arthur...?” He asked, turning to his older brother.
Alfred nodded. “Im done with you Arthur. From today onwards, I’ll hunt you down.” He growled, turning away and calling forth his other men.
. . .
“I was just another petite fillie when my maman died. It took me a while to get used to street life. Then when I was about to get hanged from my previous robberies Arthur saved me. I don’t know why, but I’m grateful that I’m still alive.” You sighed, telling Gilbert your short past.
“I see...” Gilbert nodded.
“My Father, Jarred (last name). He was a blacksmith. Just like you.” You smiled at Gilbert, warming up to him a little.
“I knew ‘im. Probably one of the few who knew him as Jarred (last name). Everyone else called him Black Jack or Blackjack joker.” Arthur panned, turning to look at the two of you.
“Black Jack?” You asked.
“Good Man. Good Pirate. I swear, you have his eyes.” He chuckled.
“Liar. He was a good man who paid attention to me when I needed him the most.” You growled.
“He was another Bloody Pirate (name). Another Scallywag like me.”
“My Papa was NOT A PIRATE!” You shouted, unsheathing your sword.
“...Put it away (name). You know you have no chance against me.” Arthur sighed, taking his hands off the steering wheel and motioning for Gilbert to take over.
“HAH! Says who?!” You snapped.
“Says me. It’s not much incentive for me to fight fair anyway.” He deadpanned, taking out his sword and swinging it at one of the ropes, causing the sail to swing at you and send you hanging out over the sea.
“MERDE!” You shouted.
“Now that you’re just hanging there, listen to what I have to say. The only rules that really matter are these. What a man; Woman is your case, can do and what she cannot.” He panned, pointing at you.
You grunted and spit at him.
“...You can accept that fact that Lilian married a pirate, a good man or you cant. And no matter what you say, You’re part of the Pirate family. You’ve got Pirate in your blood.You’ll just have to accept that one day, love.” He said, looking down at the spot where you missed him.
“Now, Me for example...” He said, placing a hand on his chest. “I can feed you to the Sharks, but I can’t commandeer a ship with the help of just a Blacksmith to Tortuga. You’re needed as well, seeing as you’ve sailed the seven seas with me and stayed by me side no matter what...” He smiled warmly at you.
The he swung you back on board and offered you his hand. “Are you going to let me guide you? Or are you not?” He asked.
You stared at his hand for a moment, taking it after a sigh.
Then without warning, he pulled you to your feet and placed a short chaste kiss on your lips.
You pulled away, a bright red blush covering your cheeks.
Arthur placed another kiss on your head before joining Gilbert with the Wheel.
“...Damn Englishmen...” You muttered, shoving your hands into your pockets and joining the Brit and German.
. . .
Arthur threw a bucket of water at the Redhead, sending him into a shocking wake up call.
“Screw ye for living ya Bastard!” He shouted, wiping away the water on his face. He looked up to find Arthur, standing over him.
“Wha- Arthur you Damn goat. Ye should know better than ‘ta wake a man when ‘e’s sleeping. ‘s bad luck. Not that you’ve haven't had enough of it.” The Redhead snickered
“It’s nice to see you too Allistor. Fortunately, I know how to counter it. The man who did that waking, buys the man who was sleeping, a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while listening to a proposition by the man who did the waking.” Arthur chuckled.
“...Aye, that’ll about do it.” Allistor grinned. You threw another bucket of water at him.
“Dammit Lass, I’M ALREADY AWAKE!” Allistor shouted. You snickered. “Sorry.” You replied.
The four of you entered a pub, you telling Arthur not to Drink.
“Keep a sharp eye and take care of that blacksmith, will you?” He said, kissing your forehead. “Aye. Now fuck off.” You growled, annoyed with him and those kisses.
Arthur chuckled as he walked off to join his older brother for a Drink.
“Now, What’s the nature of this venture of yourn, Little Brother?” Allistor asked, taking a swig of beer.
“I’m going after the Bloody Emerald.”
Allistor coughed, almost choking on his drink. “I know where it’s going to be, and I’m going to take it.” Arthur continued, taking a sip of his tea.
“Arthur, It’s a fool’s errand. Ye know better then me the tales of the Bloody Emerald.” Allistor sighed.
“That’s why I know what Carriedo is up to. All I need is a crew.” Arthur replied, smirking.
“From what I hear tell of Captain Carriedo, He’s not a man to suffer fools, nor strike a bargain with one.” Allistor said, taking another swig of his beer.
“Well, then I’d say it’s a very good thing I’m not a fool then, eh?” Arthur chuckled.
“Prove me wrong, Arthur. What makes ye think Carriedo will give up his ship to ye?” Allistor asked.
“Let’s just say It’s a matter of leverage, Eh?” Arthur said, stealing glances at you and Gilbert.
“Those two?” Allistor asked, looking at the two of you.
“That girl is the child of Blackjack Joker (last name). His only child. That man is the Older brother of Captain Ludwig Beilschimdt. Savvy?” Arthur explained, waving at you.
“Is she now? Leverage, says ye. I think I feel a change in the wind, say I. I’ll find us a crew. There’s bound to be some sailors on this rock, crazy as ye.” Allistor chuckled.
“One can only hope, Allistor. Take what you can.” Arthur raised his glass of tea to make a toast to Victory.
“Give nothing back.” Allistor grinned, raising his glass and the two clinked their drinks, draining it as well.
. . .
“Feast your eyes, Stupid. All of them, faithful hands before the mast, every man worth his salt and crazy to boot.” You growled, annoyed at the fact that Allistor had gotten too drunk to search for a crew. Leaving the job to you.
“So this is your able-bodied crew?” Gilbert asked.
“You, Sailor!” Arthur shouted, pointing to the asian.
“Kiku Honda sir.” The asian replied, bowing.
“Mr. Honda? Do you have the courage and fortitude to follow orders and stay true in the face of danger and almost certain death?” Arthur asked.
“Hai.” Kiku replied.
Arthur looked confused by the answer.
“‘Hai’ means ‘yes’.” You said, patting the asian’s shoulder.
Arthur nodded turning to Gilbert. “Satisfied?” He asked. Gilbert sighed. “Vell, you’ve proved they’re mad.”
“And what’s the benefit for us?” A voice asked.
Arthur goes over to the person who spoke and ripped the hat off, revealing a woman. “Seychelles.” Arthur growled. Seychelles slapped him.
You clapped. “Nice!” You giggled.
“I suppose you didn’t deserve that, ja?” Gilbert snickered.
“Actually, I did.” Arthur replied, rubbing his face.
“You stole my boat!” She shouted. “Actually-” Seychelles slapped him again, sending you falling over in a fit of laughter.
“...Borrowed. Borrowed without permission. But with every intention of bringing it back to you.” He finished. “YOU NEVER DID!” She shouted.
“You’ll get another one.” He sighed. “I better.” She growled, pointing her forefinger at him.
“A better one.” Gilbert said.
“A better one!” Arthur replied.
“That one!” You shouted, pointing to the Blue Diamond.
“What one? That one?! Aye, that one. What say you?” He asked.
The crew roared in anticipation. “AYE!” They shouted.
“Anchors aweigh.” Kiku smiled.
“No. No, no, no. It bad luck to bring a woman aboard.” Allistor said.
“Hey. I’m a girl too.” You growled.
Allistor sighed. “It be far worse ta’ have her, lass. You’re an exception.”
You huffed. “Damn straight I am.”
. . .
You, Allistor and Gilbert watched Arthur close the compass and walk away.
“...Where did he get that compass?” You asked, turning to Allistor. “ I wouldn’t really know, lass. Even though I’m his older brother, there’s a lot that I do not know about that boy. But I know that he had a grudge for Antonio, Francis and he plans to go after the treasure of Isle the Muerta.” Allistor replied.
“Who’s Antonio and Francis anyway?” You asked. “Whenever I asked him about them, He’d just walk away.”
“He never told you? Antonio is a Spanish Pirate. Francis is a French Pirate. As you know, Antonio has the Bloody Emerald in his Possession. Francis has the Black Ruby is his possession.”
“Why does he have a grudge for Antonio?” You asked.
“He stole my love’s heart once, He stole the ship that was rightfully mine and now He plans to steal you.”
The three of you turned around, to find Arthur standing behind you.
“...You should know better than to Invade someone’s personal business (name).” He deadpanned.
“I had a right to know.” You retorted.
“...No matter.” He growled. “Lower the Anchor!” He shouted to the crew.
“Lower the Anchor!” Shouted a pirate.
“I will take Gilbert with me. You are to stay here.” He said, pointing to you.
“Keep to the code Allistor.” He said, walking away.
“...Aye.” Allistor sighed.
“...I’m going.” You said. Allistor looked at you. “What? Arthur told you to stay here.” He said. “Screw whatever he says. I’m going.” You deadpanned, grabbing your sword and sheathing it.
“...Be safe then.”
. . .
Gilbert and Arthur were in a boat, you were silently following from behind, making sure not to splash something in the water.
“Vhat Code is Allistor to keep to if the worst should happen?” Gilbert asked.
“Pirate’s Code. Any man that falls behind gets left behind.” Arthur replied, blankly staring at the clear water.
“No heroes amongst thieves, eh?” Gilbert asked.
“You know, for having such a bleak outlook on pirates, you and (name) are well on your way to becoming one...” Arthur sighed. “...Not that she would agree to.”
Gilbert huffed. “That’s not true. I will never become one.” Arthur smirked. “Say what you want Gilbert. Not all treasure is silver and Gold.”
Gilbert and Arthur left the boat, you followed them, making sure not to get caught, until they arrived at the gathering.
“Gentlemen, The time has come! Our Salvation is nigh!” Shouted Antonio, firmly holding Elizabeta’s hand. “Our torment is near at end!”
“Elizabeta.” Gilbert gasped.
“For ten years, we’ve been tested and tried, and each man jack of you here has proved his mettle a hundred times over and a hundred times again!” Antonio’s crew cheered.
“Suffered, I have.” Said a pirate.
“Punished, we were. The lost of us - Disproportionate to our crimes! Here it is, the cursed treasure of Cort’s himself. Every last piece that went astray, we have returned - save for this.” Antonio pointed to the Medallion Elizabeta was wearing.
Gilbert scrambled up, upsetting some of the treasure then turning to Arthur. “Arthur!” He hissed.
Arthur pulled him down. “Not yet. We wait for the opportune moment.” He said.
Gilbert scoffed. “Vhen’s that? Vhen it’s of greatest profit to you?” He asked.
“May I ask you something? Have I ever given you reason not to trust me? Do us a favor? I know It’s difficult for you, but please stay here and try not to do anything stupid.” Arthur sighed.
“...Try not to do anything stupid Arthur.”
As Arthur turned around, he managed to get a glimpse of your appearance before you hit him with an Oar, knocking him out.
“...Go to her. I’m the one they want.” You said, pointing to Elizabeta.
Gilbert nodded, running up the treasure.
You sighed. “...Stupid.” You mumbled, picking him up and setting him on a rock.
. . .
Arthur groaned and rubbed his head. Who had hit him? Oh yes, It was you.
He growled, struggling to stand.
He turned to find Antonio’s crew standing beside him.
“You’re supposed to be dead!” One of them shouted.
“Am I not?” He asked, looking down at himself. “Oh.” He sighed, finding a sea of pistols pointed at him. “Palulay? Um...”
“Yes! That’s the one. Parley! Parley!” He chuckled, despite the fact he was in Danger.
“Parley? Down to the depths whatever man that thought up Parley!” The pirate shouted.
“That would be the French.” Arthur giggled. But It was cut short, remembering that YOU yourself were French.
. . .
“How the blazes did you get off that island?” Antonio asked, pointing to Arthur with his sword.
“When you marooned me on that godforsaken spit of land, you forgot one thing, mate. I’m Captain Arthur Kirkland.” Arthur chuckled.
“Ah, Well I won’t be making that mistake again. Gents, you all remember Captain Arthur Kirkland?” Antonio chuckled. “Kill him.” He growled.
“The girl’s blood didn’t work, did it?”
“Hold your fire!” Antonio commanded. “You know who’s blood we need?” He asked.
“I know who’s blo-”
Antonio and Arthur turned around, to find you sitting on a rock, twirling the medallion in you hand.
“Nice to meet ya, Captain Antonio.” You smiled. He smirked and walked up to you. “The Pleasure is all mine Chica.” He said, taking your hand and placing a kiss on it.
“(n-name)?!” Arthur shouted.
“Hey there Artie.” You giggled.
“Shall we?” Antonio asked. “Of course.” You replied.
Antonio led you to the chest full of golden coins, took your hand and made a cut in it. Then he pressed the medallion in your wound, and dropped in into the chest.
At first, nothing seemed to happen. But when one of the pirates stepped into the moonlight, he didn’t turn into a skeleton.
The crew cheered, Antonio satisfied with his work.
Then without warning, Antonio stabbed you with his sword, barely missing your heart.
You stumbled over, tumbling down and into the water.
Antonio laughed and took out his Pistol, pointing it to Arthur. “Adios, Amigo.” He grinned, pulling the trigger.
Arthur jerked up, panting. “Dude? What’s wrong?” Alfred asked, patting his back. Arthur looked around. He was in the Allies conference room.
He sighed. “N-No...Nothing’s wrong...” He mumbled, getting up and leaving the room. “Did he have a bad dream Aru?” Yao asked.
“Maybe.” Alfred replied.
Out in the hallway, Arthur leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. ‘Was...that really a dream? It...felt so real...’ He thought.
Arthur turned to his right to find you, standing beside him. “Are you okay?” You asked, a concerned expression on his face.
“(N-Name)!” Arthur pulled you into a hug, crushing you against his chest. “Can’t...Breathe!” You choked out.
When he let go of you, he grabbed your face and kissed you, sending you into a state of shock.
The two of you pulled away, a thin line of saliva still connecting tho two of you. Arthur took the line of saliva and wrapped it around his finger, wiping in on your lips.
He smirked. “Wh- What was that for?!” You shouted, face red in embarrassment.
“Nothing. Just expressing my way of saying ‘I love you.’” he chuckled.
If Antonio could see this now, he would say your face was as red as the Tomatoes he grows.
“F- Fuck you kirkland!” You shouted. Arthur laughed. “Love you too, (name).” He walked away leaving you speechless.
“...I love you too, You Bloody Pirate.” You mumbled.