"You ready for this?" You asked.
"Not really." Dave muttered.
"You'll be fine." You said, kissing his cheek as Dave took a deep breath and followed you to the living room.
"John, we have something to tell you-" You were cut off by Dave suddenly vomiting. He cleared his throat and you stared at him in disbelief.
"I think that went well." Dave said, back inside your room.
"You threw up and we both left." You deadpanned.
"Nah, that was all in the past."
"That was literally thirty seconds ago."
"It's just a matter of opinion." Dave shrugs.
"No it isn't, Let's try again." You said, dragging the blond out of the room and back where John was.
"John, we have something to tell you." You said just as Dave pulled out a bottle of chloroform, pouring it onto a rag and knocking himself out with said rag.
"I chloroformed myself, didn't I?" Dave muttered. "Yeah, you did." You replied just as you saw Dave pouring chloroform onto a rag and was about to hold it up to his face.
"Don't do it again!" You scolded, knocking the rag out of his hands.
"Look. You take the lead this time." You sighed in exasperation, pushing Dave out of the room and back into the living room for the third time. Dave opens his mouth and a series of jumbled out words fall out, just as you roll your eyes and face-palm.
"You see, the thing is, [Name] and I- I'll just kill him." Dave said, pulling out a gun and you grab his hand, with a series of 'Woah, Woah, Woah!'. "JUST LET ME KILL HIM-"
"NO, NO, NO."
"Mom, Dad, I'm gay!" Dave sobs.
"WRONG! ...I hope." You mutter.
"IF I SHOOT HIM WE CAN MAKE OUT, THIS CAN BE SO EASY!"
"NO, NO, DAVE!"
"You see, when two people spend a lot of time together-"
"WHERE ARE YOUR LEGS?!" You scream.
All of a sudden Dave starts to speak german, in which you reply with, 'NEIN.'
All of a sudden, another Dave appears with a black shirt. "I'm from the future! Tell him he's ugly!"
"You're chubby!" Dave quickly says.
"You can't even get that right?!"
"GIVE ME THE- NOOOOOOO-"
Back in your room, Both you and Dave sit at the foot of your bed. Your head in your hands and Dave's hands on his chin. "I'm really bad at this, aren't I." Dave says. "Yeah, John's never gonna find out about us." You reply. Suddenly Dave's eyes widen and he exclaims, "OH, SO THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING." He stands and you quickly follow him to the living room.
"John, I know this is hard for you to hear, but I am DATING your sister!" Dave announces, pointing to you. John shrugs and says, "Yeah, that's fine du- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!" John reels away from the bullet hole where Dave had shot and missed.
"Haha, Whoops." Dave laughs.
"...I think that went pretty well." You mutter to yourself.