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"You ready for this?" You asked.

"Not really." Dave muttered.

"You'll be fine." You said, kissing his cheek as Dave took a deep breath and followed you to the living room.

"John, we have something to tell you-" You were cut off by Dave suddenly vomiting. He cleared his throat and you stared at him in disbelief.

"I think that went well." Dave said, back inside your room.

"You threw up and we both left." You deadpanned.

"Nah, that was all in the past."

"That was literally thirty seconds ago."

"It's just a matter of opinion." Dave shrugs.

"No it isn't, Let's try again." You said, dragging the blond out of the room and back where John was.

"John, we have something to tell you." You said just as Dave pulled out a bottle of chloroform, pouring it onto a rag and knocking himself out with said rag.

"I chloroformed myself, didn't I?" Dave muttered. "Yeah, you did." You replied just as you saw Dave pouring chloroform onto a rag and was about to hold it up to his face.

"Don't do it again!" You scolded, knocking the rag out of his hands.

"Look. You take the lead this time." You sighed in exasperation, pushing Dave out of the room and back into the living room for the third time. Dave opens his mouth and a series of jumbled out words fall out, just as you roll your eyes and face-palm.

"You see, the thing is, [Name] and I- I'll just kill him." Dave said, pulling out a gun and you grab his hand, with a series of 'Woah, Woah, Woah!'. "JUST LET ME KILL HIM-"

"NO, NO, NO."

"Mom, Dad, I'm gay!" Dave sobs.

"WRONG! ...I hope." You mutter.

"IF I SHOOT HIM WE CAN MAKE OUT, THIS CAN BE SO EASY!"

"NO, NO, DAVE!"

"You see, when two people spend a lot of time together-"

"WHERE ARE YOUR LEGS?!" You scream.

All of a sudden Dave starts to speak german, in which you reply with, 'NEIN.'

"John-"

All of a sudden, another Dave appears with a black shirt. "I'm from the future! Tell him he's ugly!"

"You're chubby!" Dave quickly says.

"You can't even get that right?!"

"DAVID, DAVID."

"GIVE ME THE- NOOOOOOO-"

Back in your room, Both you and Dave sit at the foot of your bed. Your head in your hands and Dave's hands on his chin. "I'm really bad at this, aren't I." Dave says. "Yeah, John's never gonna find out about us." You reply. Suddenly Dave's eyes widen and he exclaims, "OH, SO THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING." He stands and you quickly follow him to the living room.

"John, I know this is hard for you to hear, but I am DATING your sister!" Dave announces, pointing to you. John shrugs and says, "Yeah, that's fine du- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!" John reels away from the bullet hole where Dave had shot and missed.

"Haha, Whoops." Dave laughs.

"...I think that went pretty well." You mutter to yourself.

The end.
I just decided to be dumb tonight so I wrote a Dave x Reader crackfic based on this video: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw6-uJ…

aaaaaanyway, i do not condone my actions for this, and this just came up on the top of my head i'm sorry

Homestuck (c) Andrew Hussie
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:iconbloodpaw221:
Bloodpaw221 Featured By Owner Apr 3, 2015  Student Artist

IM HAVING TROUBLE BREATHING OMFG XDD
GREAT STORY OMFG SHDHDRFBCY--//faint
Reply
:iconfearthehedgehog101:
FeartheHedgehog101 Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I died. I AM NOT BREATHING I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING I STILL AM
Reply
:iconyurimikki:
YuRiMiKkI Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2015  Student Artist
//dialing noises

Hello? Ah yes, we have another body on Aisle 3, please get the coffin ready.
Reply
:iconfearthehedgehog101:
FeartheHedgehog101 Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
*is resurrected by Mindfang* I heard a phone
Reply
:iconyurimikki:
YuRiMiKkI Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2015  Student Artist
Ah wait nevermind

She's alive again
cancel the mortician appointment
Reply
:icondominikovlover:
dominikovlover Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2015  Student General Artist
This is awesome especially since it was based off one of  tomska's videos
Reply
:iconferriluver101:
ferriluver101 Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2015
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT? WOAH XD
Reply
:iconelfen-lied-lover-357:
Elfen-Lied-Lover-357 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
XD I fell out of bed and my parents though t was seriously injured, when they said that, I just said 'Haha, whoops.' And went back to bed. #WorthIt
Reply
:iconminecraftin-wolf:
minecraftin-wolf Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
it hurts how hilarious this is for just saying that one thing X^D    and im still laughing
Reply
:iconmaryamtotheheart:
maryamtotheheart Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
This is hilarious XD It really made my day
Reply
:iconxxmoemoethepotatoxx:
XxMoemoethePotatoxX Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Tomska Dave = Me
Reply
:iconbloodshotbulletproof:
BloodShotBulletProof Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2015
I KNEW FROM THE BEGINNING THIS WAS TOMSKA
LOVE THIS
Reply
:iconmeowkatie:
meowkatie Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014
That's me.... exactly.
Just go with improv untill someone reminds you what that actual hell you supposed to be doing.
Reply
:iconthepokemonz:
ThePokemonz Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
That.is.JUST.like.what.I.would.say. DAMN. ( wtfu )
Reply
:iconcheezit1x1:
Cheezit1x1 Featured By Owner Nov 28, 2014  Hobbyist
XD I'm smiling like the joker over here!
What did he think was happening?!
Reply
:iconmeowkatie:
meowkatie Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2014
Just forgot man
Reply
:iconcrispysparklez:
CrispySparklez Featured By Owner Nov 11, 2014
TOMSKERRR!
Reply
:icongreenstar2001:
greenstar2001 Featured By Owner Edited Oct 4, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Omg I love this video and this fic
Reply
:iconbritain116:
britain116 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014
OMG TOMSKA!!
Reply
:icontimaeus-godhead:
timaeus-godhead Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014
BEAUTIFUL
I DEMAND AN ENCORE
Reply
:iconyurimikki:
YuRiMiKkI Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Student Artist
Haha, not sure John would agree. XD
Reply
:icontimaeus-godhead:
timaeus-godhead Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014
I'm sure the reader wouldn't agree with my opinion either.
:'D

But in all honesty the fan-fiction was funny none the less!!
Reply
:iconyurimikki:
YuRiMiKkI Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014  Student Artist
Ah, really? Haha, nobody really comments anymore so i just assume they found it funny..~ ;w;
Reply
:icontimaeus-godhead:
timaeus-godhead Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2014
Aha, well as long as I have the chance to say it I might as well go ahead and complement you!
I'm surprised to hear not a lot of people did take the chance to complement you! :'D
Reply
:iconarya12324:
Arya12324 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I KNEW THIS VIDEO OMG
Reply
:iconkekerox1:
KekeRox1 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I READ THE FIRST FEW LINES AND I WAS LIKE "Oh my god they made a fic using Tomska's video. I HAVE TO READ THIS OMG."

And so here I am and I'm laughing so hard omg. 

I APPLAUD YOU. THIS MADE MY DAY. 
Reply
:iconyurimikki:
YuRiMiKkI Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Student Artist
Hehe.
Reply
:iconsugarkittypanda:
SugarKittyPanda Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I--Holy shiz omg cry  I lmao-ed the whole time XD
Reply
:iconshiny-eve:
shiny-eve Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014
beautiful 
Reply
:iconclock--heart:
Clock--Heart Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
OH MY GOD DAVE

I CANT BREATHE Laugh LOL 
Reply
:iconsunimacrud:
Sunimacrud Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I think I'll just go home now .
Reply
:iconjosephinethestatuete:
Josephinethestatuete Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You are home.
Reply
:iconsunimacrud:
Sunimacrud Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Dammit, Rima.
Reply
:iconjosephinethestatuete:
Josephinethestatuete Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Rima? Who is this Rima? I am simply the dragon inside your head.
Reply
:iconsunimacrud:
Sunimacrud Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
WELL SHIT
Reply
:iconjosephinethestatuete:
Josephinethestatuete Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
ROAR!
Reply
:iconsunimacrud:
Sunimacrud Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
SCREAMS




FLIES INTO THE SUN//
Reply
:iconjosephinethestatuete:
Josephinethestatuete Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
D: SONOFA! I DID IT AGAIN!! *Flies after* WAIT! COME BACK!
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconpippicat:
Pippicat Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Student Writer
Oh gosh I love that video! XD
Reply
:iconxxlunalovesaloisxx:
XxLunaLovesAloisxX Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
perfection.
Reply
:iconmistressofthevoid:
MistressOfTheVoid Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
THIS FUCKING STORY WAS A ROLLER-COASTER RIDE FROM START TO FINISH!!!!!!!!! :XD:

Also, what the fuck did Dave think they were trying to tell John at first?
Reply
:iconyurimikki:
YuRiMiKkI Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Student Artist
Dave did the frickle-frackle with you

:3
Reply
:iconmistressofthevoid:
MistressOfTheVoid Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yes, we're aware. more like hide the chapstick LOL Dave got burned
Reply
:iconjosephinethestatuete:
Josephinethestatuete Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
That they were out of Apple Juice and John needed to go to the store, but Dave couldn't handle the fact that they were out? Maybe?
Reply
:iconmistressofthevoid:
MistressOfTheVoid Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
That sounds like Dave.
Reply
:iconjosephinethestatuete:
Josephinethestatuete Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yup.
Reply
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